糖果2006

Something about There's No Going Back
  去年暑假温习了一遍《梦之安魂曲》，看到有介绍关于毒品的电影，有一部是澳大利亚的电影，叫糖果。完全被那一幅merry go round 的海报所吸引，但怎么找都无果，十一假期又找了一回，寒假又找了好几次，五月份的时候一位豆友给我发了，可惜格式不对只看了前七分钟，打算在亚马逊上买原著的我在昨天生日的时候歪打正着下载了整部电影，也算是最好的礼物了。
 其实全片让我感觉最失望的是heaven太短，并没有极力渲染出两个人在毒品的欢愉中交织的太多美好，反倒是他们的争吵，嘶吼，叫喊有太多篇幅 ，不过也还恰到好处，尤其是candy抱怨电视声音，屋里光线，甚至圆珠笔划报纸的声音影响她睡觉的镜头，简直太真实。电影对于毒瘾发作的描摹更是一大亮点，candy怀孕后，二人决定戒毒，靠着Dan骗来的几千元，他们终于像每一对正常的夫妇，去大超市买果酱和饼干，搬进装有固定电话的公寓，躺上了铺有白色床单的twinbed，可惜一切关于戒毒的事都太难，密不透风的室内投射进苍白的阳光，床头的垃圾越攒越多，两个人因为全身难耐而痛苦的摩擦着，床单脏了，他们撒上爽身粉遮掩，直到有一天Candy实在忍不住拨打了她所谓的求助电话，在和Dan的撕打中流产了，这一切都是那么真实。
 之后的hell，他们回到了乡村，也许是孩子的早夭让他们的关系凝重起来，靠着每天喝美沙酮，他们还算活得清醒，没有了争吵，却只是皱着眉头的妥协，生活到了这里，再去追随那时的快乐简直是奢望，candy认识了新的朋友，他们也会一起嗑药，一起大笑，但当Dan问起candy是否和他上床时，正在作画Candy却好似疯了一般恨Dan，她开始用所有色彩鲜艳的化妆品在墙上写诗，那些颜色如糖果，本是生命的注解，如今却在墙壁上密密麻麻的排满了，倾吐着常人无法到达的忧乐。瘾君子的世界是扑朔迷离的，但当故事支离破碎成一首诗，我不得不承认candy是位伟大的艺术家，一句句无厘头的话，如一剂剂爱情毒针，不偏不倚的刺中了Dan的心脏，他又去找了Casper，而candy却因神经衰弱被送进了医院，出院后，Dan在打工的餐馆里和着阳光和苏打水结束了一切，cause there's no going back.
 对于结局，我起初觉得有些突兀，Dan以他们早夭孩子为理由拒绝了candy，独自坐在房中，但我们不妨大胆设想一下他真正的想法，如果Dan此时还没戒掉毒瘾，那candy父亲在医院的那句话一定让他想了很多，老人家只在乎她的女儿，而把他女儿搞得人不像人鬼不像鬼的，正是Dan，经过了长时间的冷静，Dan决定离开candy，让她继续自己的生活，一个不再被毒品牵制的生活，做回那个金发天使，那个完美的画家，忘掉一切，别被自己一直拖累。
但如果Dan也已戒掉毒瘾，他和Candy一样成了正常人，那现在就没有什么理由拒绝了啊，为什么要选择自己离开呢，我大胆认为，也许一开始，他们的爱情就是基于毒品之上的，又或者，根本没有爱情，首先，他们会ml，但是是在嗑药之后，他们会整天呆在一起，但是是在两人筹集毒资或是一起吸毒时，要找到一点点爱情的踪迹，还只是在heaven部分。还记得那个乡村的邻居吗，他和candy一起嗑药时，那种兴奋，快乐，与candy和Dan在一起时并没有什么不同，没有什么不可替代，只不过是两人在对方生命中有一个比较重要的角色罢了，一个糅杂了青春，毒品，迷幻，艺术，肉体，阳光，刺激等等于一体的角色，抑或是生命中一个重要的时期，那段有毒品，有糖果作伴的时期，片中那个milkman正是原著的作者Luke Davies，我在维基上查了他的故事，他是个澳大利亚著名的电视编剧，导演，他曾在八几年的时候沾染毒瘾，大抵来讲，他以他为原型写了这本书，也是为了祭奠自己一去不返的迷幻青春和曾经中过的毒，Dan对Candy说there's no going back.又何尝不是对自己的过去说再见？也许真正致幻的是他们的关系，真正有毒的是他们这种危险的感情
 街边的阳光照了进来，澳大利亚的天气真好啊，Dan饮下一杯不似之前绿色sodapop的纯净水，看着candy离去，独自坐在中餐馆，窗外一切都被隔绝了，这是电影的结束，小说的结束，那么大概也是生活真正的开始。

曾今有一对男女名叫dan和candy
那年一切都很火热
所有的蜡烛都在树上融化
他在阳台蠕动，到处攀爬，为她做任何事
我的dan男孩
成千上万的鸟儿 最小的鸟儿装点着她的秀发
一切都是金色的
一天晚上 欲火点燃了绣床
他风度翩翩 坏得恰到好处
我们住在阳光和巧克力的宫殿里
午后纵情狂欢
dan 铤而走险的战士
candy为你祈祷
那天的余晖像鲨鱼般在巡游
“这次，我要试试你的办法”
你如此迅速的进入我的生命 并且我喜欢
我们在欢愉的泥泞中碾得粉碎
我双腿潮湿 屈服于你
万物之中有条鸿沟
整个大地都倾斜了
这就是事业 这就是我们追随的
你在我体内 伴着夜晚的降临
难再入睡 水池中的怪物
黑暗本质的一部分 飞翔
鸡和奔跑的青豆
我所看到的地方
我有时恨你
...........
床边的一盆花
我一时失手
打破了你的头
孩子死于清晨
我给他起了个名字
他的名字叫托马斯
可怜的小家伙
他的心像魔法般鼓动得跳动

这是一段瘾君子的感情。
经历过爱，美好，吸毒，戒毒，孩子，失去孩子，新的生活，精神病..
.最后再次聚首，却回不到过去。
世界并没有改变，在你眼里世界是什么样的他就是什么样的。
你用你的行为把它变成了那个似乎绝境的深渊。
这样爱情也会在泥藻中失去她的姿色。
最后连同所有的一切被黑暗吞噬。
精神病是人逃避的港湾。死亡是逃避港湾的人最后的终点。

Once upon a time, there was Candy and Dan.
Things were very hot that year.
All the wax was melting in the trees.
He would climb balconies, climb everywhere, do anything for her,
oh Danny boy.
Thousands of birds,
the tiniest birds, adorned her hair.
Everything was gold.

One night the bed caught fire.
He was handsome and a very good criminal.
We lived on sunlight and chocolate bars.
It was the afternoon of extravagant delight.

Danny the daredevil.

Candy went missing.

The days last rays of sunshine cruise like sharks.
I want to try it your way this time.
You came into my life really fast and I liked it.
We squelched in the mud of our joy.
I was wet-thighed with surrender.

Then there was a gap in things and the whole earth tilted.
This is the business. This, is what we’re after.
With you inside me comes the hatch of death.
And perhaps I’ll simply never sleep again.
The monster in the pool.
We are a proper family now with cats and chickens and runner beans.
Everywhere I looked.
And sometimes I hate you.

Friday — I didn’t mean that, mother of the blueness. Angel of the storm.
Remember me in my opaqueness.
You pointed at the sky, that one called Sirius or dog star, but on here on earth.
Fly away sun.
Ha ha fucking ha you are so funny Dan.
A vase of flowers by the bed. My bare blue knees at dawn.
These ruffled sheets and you are gone and I am going too.
I broke your head on the back of the bed but the baby he died in the morning.
I gave him a name.
His name was thomas.
Poor little god. His heart pounds like a voodoo drum.

- Candy





from tumblr

2006年2月，柏林，Heath Ledger带着他的Candy参展。记者会上，不可避免地，有很多冲着Brokeback Mountain的问题。Heath只是腼腆地笑着，礼貌地把话题拉回到Candy，他告诉大家：这部电影，是他闯荡好莱坞多年后，回到故乡拍摄的电影，他因此格外珍惜。

看Candy我看见，两个人在飙戏。他们一样的漂亮，也同样有实力。确实，论剧本，论制作，论导演，论角色，即使在小成本影片中，Candy都绝不算上乘。她是一枚青涩的果实，却发散出一种令人晕眩的魔力。那种揪人心肺的力量，竟让我如此难过。

镜头下的Abbie Cornish，美得不可方物，她赋予生命的Candy，不可理喻地隐忍，又异常神经地脆弱。Candy一直承受太多，但她始终倔强，勇敢地对抗着，唯一哭过的两次，一次是当她和父亲分享自己怀孕的消息，另一次是得知自己最终没能保住孩子。

因为爱Dan，Candy染上了毒瘾，因为孩子，她试图戒毒。但都失败了，爱情和爱情的结晶，都不可挽回地消失在苍茫无情的人世中，Candy对于生活仅有的那一点卑贱的要求，跌落在尘土飞扬的现实的大地上，碎了。

一开始就错了，从一开始。当她遇见了Dan，她不顾一切地抓住这个男人像抓住一根救命稻草，想要逃离原来的生活。但是他的无能和怯弱，始终没有累积到足够的能量，只会引她陷入更深，更无止尽的痛苦和沉沦。Dan的爱帮不到Candy，爱情就像一针毒品，能带来一时美妙的幻觉，却改变不了命运的轨迹。在梦中，他们相拥取暖，醒来后，是更彻骨的冰凉。

Candy绝望了，她用疯狂唤来了Dan的清醒。是因为很爱你，所以我们不能再在一起。Dan终于找了新工作，想清算了过去，准备开始新的人生...但是好遗憾，他却不能够了。

2008年1月，Heath在纽约曼哈顿的寓所意外离世。新闻铺天盖地，果不其然地，有好事者翻出了Candy，像当年翻出哥哥的遗作《异度空间》一样。他们说：看吧，他就是拍这部戏中“毒”太深。

Once upon a time, there was Dan and Candy……

在澳大利亚明晃晃的阳光下，放纵地相爱着，挥霍着他们，看似无穷无尽的青春。

爱情不是面包。说穿了，它什么都不是。

「The future or the thing that gleamed. The present was so very, very good. I wasn't trying to wreck Candy's life. I was trying to make mine better. We wanted to share absolutely everything. Especially the best bits.」


「Here is the deepest secret that nobody knows. Here is the root of the root, and the bud of the bud, and the sky of the sky,in the tree called life, which grows higher than soul can hope, or mind can hide, and this is the one that is keeping the stars apart. I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart. 」


「We'd found the secret glue that held all things together in a perfect place where the noise did not intrude. Our world was so very complete.」


「Everything we ever did. we did with the best of intentions, but events tumble! And the years pile up.The world is very bewildering to a junkie.」


「What do you think this is about? Sunday Lunch. It's a pretty simple thing. But with you two, there's no such thing as simple. It‘s the drugs! The drugs always come first. Do you have any idea what you have done to my family? To me? What happened to that beautiful little girl?」


「Once upon a time, there was Candy and Dan. Things were very hot that year. All the wax was melting in the trees. He would climb balconies, climb everywhere, do anything for her, oh Danny boy. Thousands of birds, the tiniest birds, adorned her hair. Everything was gold. One night the bed caught fire. He was handsome and a very good criminal. We lived on sunlight and chocolate bars. It was the afternoon of extravagant delight. Danny the daredevil. Candy went missing. The days last rays of sunshine cruise like sharks. I want to try it your way this time. You came into my life really fast and I liked it. We squelched in the mud of our joy. I was wet-thighed with surrender. Then there was a gap in things and the whole earth tilted. This is the business. This, is what we're after. With you inside me comes the hatch of death. And perhaps I'll simply never sleep again. The monster in the pool. We are a proper family now with cats and chickens and runner beans. Everywhere I looked. And sometimes I hate you. Friday -- I didn't mean that, mother of the blueness. Angel of the storm. Remember me in my opaqueness. You pointed at the sky, that one called Sirius or dog star, but on here on earth. Fly away sun. Ha ha fucking ha you are so funny Dan. A vase of flowers by the bed. My bare blue knees at dawn. These ruffled sheets and you are gone and I am going too. I broke your head on the back of the bed but the baby he died in the morning. I gave him a name. His name was Thomas. Poor little god. His heart pounds like a voodoo drum.」



「Everything's dead. Everything's turning blue.」


「And that was it. That was all that was scattered to the winds. Casper was gone. Schumann was lost. Candy was off getting better. The coast. Rehab. And I...was. I was just... The world was full of startling new concepts. I couldn't think.I couldn't breathe. I was waiting for her to come back. Because she was everything. She was everything to me. 」


「There's no going back. If you're given a reprieve, I think it is good to remember just how thin it is.」


「When you can stop, you don't want to. When you want to stop, you can't.」

關於毒品的電影, 看得太多了. 而看candy這套戲, 純粹只是因為這個名字.

電影開始時, 是dan的自白, 他細說他的candy, 聽到candy這名字, 頓時毛管楝. 由abbie cornish演candy最貼切不過, 她是那種甜到滿瀉的女孩. dan和candy瘋狂地的愛上對方, 他們從毒品中找到可以逃避現實,只容得下對方兩人的天堂, 從彼此的沉淪中找到如糖果般甜美的快樂.

全片由heaven, earth, hell三部份道出他們兩的愛情關係, 導演沒有刻意去說教, 只是將現實放在大家眼前, 卻又拍得如夢如詩的美麗, 不知這片子有多少是忠於原著, 儘管有不少不完美之處, 觀眾只要用心去感受那種愛到沉淪至自我摧毀的淒美就夠了.

若你明白愛可以愛到不能自拔, 看這套片一定會覺得很痛, 痛得只好放手.